Laugh Dammit !

**ellanoize** · June 26th, 2007, 12:20 PM

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing; keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you
are."

Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..

Up to 80.

"I want the car, too," he continues.

85 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says.

"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."

**Rogue Angel** · June 26th, 2007, 10:24 PM

oh...my... god. LMAO... and probably a hefty life insurance policy as well. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

**Rogue Angel** · July 5th, 2007, 04:18 PM

WOO HOO!!!! i KNEW it!!!! [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

**ellanoize** · July 5th, 2007, 05:35 PM

Originally posted by Rogue Angel:
rog... *smooOOooches*... i just noticed. *L*. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/girl_hug.gif[/img]

[ June 26, 2007 07:22 PM: Message edited by: Rogue Angel ]

Now that I know, It seemed like the right thing for a friend to do

**Rogue Angel** · July 5th, 2007, 06:49 PM

you're a GREAT friend.... hopefully you know that already... [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

**ellanoize** · July 6th, 2007, 03:54 AM

Truth About Barney

1) Start with the given:

CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR

2) Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin anyway):

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

3) Extract all Roman Numerals:

C V V L D I V

4) Convert into Arabic values:

100 5 5 50 500 1 5

5) Add all the numbers:

666

Thus, Barney is Satan.

**ellanoize** · July 6th, 2007, 02:32 PM

Awww shucks [img]redface.gif[/img] I have made some good friends on these silly boards and you is one of 'um [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

Now Laugh Dammit...

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabby. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his driver's license number, his address, etc., but to no avail. The cabby said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas, and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the very end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me sexual favors on the way?"

"What?! Get the hell out of my cab!"

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the fifth line, he got in and asked, "How much for a ride to the airport?"

The cabby replied, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman said, "Okay" and off they went. As they slowly drove past the long line of cabs, the business man gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.